CAN'T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD.(i'm going old school.)


Baby you're so beautiful
And when i'm near you i can't breathe
A girl like you gets what she wants
When she wants it
You're so out of my league

I show you no emotion
Don't let you see what you're doin' to me
I imagine the two of us together
But I've been livin' in reality

Fear of rejection, kept my love inside
But time is running out
So damn my foolish pride

I don't care if you think i'm crazy
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad
I've got no fear of losin' you
You can't lose what you never had
Now i'm gonna confess that i love you
I've been keepin' it inside feelin' i could die
Now if you turn away baby that's okay
At least we'll have a moment
Before you say goodbye
You cant lose what you never had

Rules Are made for breakin'
Nothing' ventured nothin' gained
I'll be no worse off than i am right now
And i might never get the chance again

Fear of rejection, kept my love inside
Told my heart I didn't want you but i lied

I don't care if you think i'm crazy
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad
I've got no fear of losin' you
You can't lose what you never had
Now i'm gonna confess that i love you
I've been keepin' it inside feelin' i could die
Now if you turn away baby that's okay
At least we'll have a moment
Before you say goodbye

Here on the outside lookin' in
Don't wanna stay dreamin' bout what could have been
I need to hear you speak my name
Even if you shoot me down in flames

I don't care if you think i'm crazy
It doesn't matter if it turns out bad
I've got no fear of losin' you
You can't lose what you never had..
I'm gonna confess that i love you
I've been keepin' it inside feelin' i could die
Now if you turn away baby that's okay
At least we'll have a moment
Before you say goodbye
You can't lose what you never had


i seriously feel like singing this song to him.that kind of attraction and helplessness.boy,i need you.xD


signed,sealed,delivered.

ya'know...it sucks when you obviously know somethin' really wrong going on.and the peeps involved just won't tell you bout' it and they even start acting distant?i mean,that's bullshit.totally.

nope,i'm not talking bout' HIM.things have been goin' relatively fine for the both of us but i've yet to be given any assurance but i'm slowly placing my trust in him bit by bit.at least.

some of you may already know what i'm talking about over here.so if you peeps wanna know,don't speculate,just ask me.but i have to say that i'll reserve the rights in deciding whether to tell you bout' it or not.



and sometimes i wish he'd "chance upon" my blog.gee.

signed,sealed,delivered.

i'm back!!!!!!!!! after such a long time as i've been busy trying to clear all my overdue homework. and sadly,i've still got alot to go.so i guess i'll just have to try my best to finish everything tmr.okay,now i'll give an update bout' my past week=)

last friday: i came home from choir,only to realise that i had left my e math tys IN SCHOOL.great, isn't it?so i blasted his cell and thank god he could lend me his tys.i was so darn grateful.

saturday: went for the women's outdoor challenge as a volunteer,along with joy and ruth.was a lil' tedious but it was loads of fun.steph went to run the 5 km race and we were cheering for her when she came back to the finishing line=) went over to his place to grab his tys from him...talked to his mum.she's cute.hahahahaha.

spent sunday and monday stressing out.had loads of overdue homework to complete then.

*note:if the day is in caps,it's obvious that those days meant smth to me eh?lol.

TUESDAY: school was exceptionally boring except for the frequent announcements bout the lightning category one thingie.lady that announced the thingie had a weird...accent.whoops.went over to his place to return his tys..well,at least that was what i originally had in mind.but i dead beat n i plonked down on e floor n never got up for the next hour.so we ended up doing homework together.i left at 7 and!before i went off,he asked if i wanted to go over the next day to do homework again.i told him i'd go over if he wanted me to.he told me to go over anyway.ha!

WEDNESDAY:was suppose to go over to his place after sch...but upon knowing that he'd only be home at 2.30,i decided to wait in school till then.though schoold ended at 1 for me.jiabin and wendy waited with me too as we were all going in the same way.THEN IT HAPPENED.he texted me,telling me to go over the next day instead as he had something on.IT WAS 2.10 THEN.wendy and jiabin were FURIOUS.so was i.i swore i would have killed him there and then.if he was even there,of course.went home anyway.=(

THURSDAY: he texted me to tell me that he'd be home around 4 as he had a test after school.so i went over to mac at beauty world to slack and do some revision on Joy Luck Club.went over to his place at approx. 4.30 only to see his mum coming downstairs and she told me that he wasn't home yet.she asked me to go into the house anyway.so i sat on their couch reading JLC,wondering what time he'd be home.was dead tired so i sorta fell asleep on the couch and then he came home around 5.he got nagged at by his mum n i was watching them through half-opened eyes.then he came over to me and asked if i was angry.i said no.i was just tired anyway.so we started doing homework again he returned me my pencil and ruler that i left at his place on tues.had some sweet moments.but i shan't tell you!xD

today: i was dying to get home asap cos' i wanted to sleep soooooooo badly.reached home at 4.30 anyway.gonna do some math later.turning into some muggin' freak.so dead.

signed,sealed,delivered.

NO MORE EMO-FREAK!!!!!!


I SHALL HAVE CONTROL OVER MY EMOTIONS!!!!!!

and i seriously don't feel like talking to HIM.

he's always sending wrong messages to me.irks.

pssst.those wrong messages also freak me out cos' i'd wonder if he's showing some TLC to some girl out there.those were simple messages though.oh boy,I HOPE NOT.><

I NEED SOME TLC TOO OKAY!!!!! >:[


signed,sealed,delivered.

loving EFBO(obviously it's a code)
in the night,i'd sing,my most heartfelt feelings.excessively denying,disagreeing with myself,takes the toll on me.and when the strings of a guitar snaps,the serenading stops,leaving the silence to knock me out cold.those daily prayers gone to waste,sudden voices in head,telling me to give it all up.feels like a blow to the head as my tears start to flow.

images of others start to appear,preventing a clear view.i choke whilst singing,allowing emotions to regain their freedom.i walk towards a mirror,in attempt to look into my own soul.those eyes aplomb with sadness,would they ever smile again?

contemplation.to allow my heart to speak,or not?or would i be left crying at the wedding?to hope that those prayers would be answered.to wish that it would all turn out right.and so i'd pray.




p.s.: i'm being such an emo-freak today.oh gee.i feel like strangling him.><


signed,sealed,delivered.

new post!!!!okay,firstly,i think running is smth....whereby,you don't know how good it feels until you do it.so,run!!hahahahaha.

just came home from some oh-so-boring english workshop made compulsory by our school.well,jo n i only went for the first workshop cos' we couldn't find out names on any of the lists for the second timeslot.so we went to kfc to feed...then we split to go home.was contemplating whether i should take the cab home and i did.i had enough bling.lol.

oh,you peeps won't be seeing alot of "DEVAN" on your msn contacts recently cos' my acer laptop got attacked by viruses and spywares.AGAIN.so now i'm sorta trying not to use msn and see if the problem still persists.i'm trying this out on my compaq lappy.hopefully tt arse tt attempted to hack my msn acc that time would just lose his memory or smth.and quit hacking acc(s)...i still wanna believe that the world is still a beautiful place.0.0

anw,i rebonded my hair!!!!!!!!!!yes,again.hahahahahaha.and today's the third and final day of no-hair-washing!!!i'm dying to wash my hair.i smell of baby powder big time now.eeek.i mean,baby powder's nice...but oily hair isn't.okay,before any of you throw your insides out,i'm gonna stop talking bout' how gross not washing your hair can get.=X

so tmr will be another back-to-school-during-hols day...this time,for choir.oh gee,i'm seriously wondering if i should go for syf,or not.think i'd flip the coin later.see?this is what happens when things don't turn out the way you want them to and you end up doin' dumb stuff like flipping a coin to make your decision.gee.

well,off i go to flip coins for the oh-so-many decisions that i have to make today...or soon.that's all for now then.till next time.=)


signed,sealed,delivered.

i'm am back!!!!!!!!!!!!!after a week of common test and days whereby both my laptops got killed my spywares...i'm am back.

ahhh...biggie of the week!i got involved in some car accident along aye on monday!okay...not exactly a good thing but thank god nobody got injured.hopefully that'll be the first and last time...i don't wanna be involved in another car crash.i may not be that lucky next time.><


okay,bad things aside..now i'll talk about fun @ sea!! it was loads of fun though sometimes we'll wanna pull out our hair due to helplessness.but the event turned out to be a success and the kids were happy...that's what's important.=) so i wanna thank my 5 darlings that i had to take care of for making my day so enjoyable that day: alexia,jolene,gladys,davian and ping chew!!thanks darlings=)) also i wanna tell all the "pot of gold" members that your project rocks!!!!!kudos to all the ALs that also had darlings to take of that day:lee yen,jing xiang(my dad la),hadi,bing yuan,eric,simon!!and our AL OIC:yong liang!!!we'll meet up someday!!!(and laugh at hadi's &bing yuan's clean shaven heads)xD also thanks to victor for...being victor.hahahhaha.last but not least,thanks to ruth for dropping by!!!i would have rammed into the wall if you weren't here.loves!



that's all for now..i gotta go run already.(i seriously need to lose weight)...so i'll signed off with the group photo taken on saturday=)

signed,sealed,delivered.