Paint a song for me.

this is really random but i just gotta get it out of my system.no,it's nothing BIG but just some,thoughts in my puny head.

was listening to 93.3FM and it was playing a song by ENERGY.love song,like,duhh.what else would have triggered thoughts big enough to have me peel myself away from macbeth and attach myself to the laptop?

so,as i was listening to the song,an image of a person came into my mind: sean. our very first date at the beach and also how loved i felt at that time.with those thoughts in mind,my eyes fixed unto something near the right-hand side of my study table: neoprints. i looked closely at the ones i took when i was attached to him and then i saw something; there was bliss and happiness in my eyes.i was truely happy.

then comes the reality check: i look at the neoprints i took recently.though i was smiling in all of them(duhh..) but the 'shine' from my eyes were gone.like,no more sparkle.(sounds like some colgate advert) .

things have changed,he's like some HUGE jerk now and for me,the only things that i say to him are,"eh,my 10 bucks how??when??" and the list for the lines used for collecting debts goes on.no more lovey dovey,i-love-you-you-love-me.

oh,and before i forget,it's time to confess.most of you might think sean and i went through some,oh-so-romantic courting days before we got together but the truth is,there was NONE of that.courtship.hardly any.though we'd chat almost every night on msn before we meeting up but honestly,there was no courtship involved.

so how did we get together?well,this may sound absurb but we actually got together after our first date.like,RIGHT AFTER.so yeah,love at first sight?maybe.at least for me i guess.but in the end it still all came crumbling right down at me.literally,with the fall down the escalator.

now,here's a second confession.reasons why i haven't really gotten together with anyone PROPER recently(which means w****=no count) would be that i was looking for that same feeling i had with sean.that somewhat love at first sight feeling.

now,if i said no guy in this past year had made my heart skip a beat or two,i'd be lying.so yeah,there were the oh-so-sweet/mushy guys that were always able to make my tummy flutter with happiness with their sweet-nothings but somehow in the end,reality kicks in and a voice in my head would go,"no,that's not the one.not him.you'd be suffering if you end up with him...."and so i always end up looking like that BIG flirt that's just accepting appraisals from guys and often just smiling it off with no form of rejection until things get out of hand.fact is,i'm no flirt.maybe you could just call it,keeping a variety of choices so that i would be able to make the best decision out of everything.and unfortunately,it never works out.

in addition,with me getting on in my years(whaa??not even 16!!),the guys around me would obviously eventually 'grow up',which also means that sometimes the hormonal system takes over(namely the testosterones) the oh-mighty brain,and then they don't get a stiff neck but rather a stiff down-there.which is something i seriously hate.like,really hate.i mean,once-in-awhiles are fine but,all the time?!?that's just plain crazy.i've got better things to than to entertain your erective organ.gee.

so yeah,there,i have successfully analysed why i'm single and single and single.cos' i like it that way.

end of hell random post.i'm getting back to unseen,macbeth thy bulldog and joy luck mahjong/mother-daughter club.